Congratulations, you've been diagnosed! Now what?? - ADDitude

• Hey there!
  So, maybe you are a bit like me?
  Maybe you too have felt that you are somewhat different from your peers, growing up?
  That other people seem to have more control, get more things done, be more balanced… just more successful?
  And then, at some point, you stumbled into the realm of ADHD. Maybe your gp suggested it. Maybe you thought about it yourself.
  And you know what? Turns out that you did have ADHD.
  And now it all kinda makes sense, doesn’t it? Case closed!

  Wrong!

  Now, I don’t know about you, but I was sent to a psychiatrist, that was going to help me treat my ADHD with medication.
  Not once did it ever come up trying to deal with it WITHOUT medication.
  And not a single word was spoken about the concept of HAVING ADHD.
  Nothing.

  So… I was given some Ritalin and told to take it in the morning.
  And then given a new appointment the week after.

  And off I went.

  So, there I was. Now, a box of pills richer.
  And no clue what to expect.

  I started taking the pills.
  I noticed an effect shortly after the first pill on the first day.
  WOW! Something’s happening.
  Some sort of pressure to the brain.
  The following day it was more intense.
  And the third day even more so.
  I felt like I was on… drugs!
  Full of energy.
  Yet more collected.
  Still felt like me, but some of the edge was taken off.
  Where I would cry, I now only felt my heart sink.
  Where I would shout in anger, I know had the calm to think a few seconds longer and choose something different.
  Yay!

  So, NOW, surely everything must be in order, right?

  Nope!

  Set aside that I had an increasing number of side-effect, from insomnia, weight-loss, dizziness and feeling sick, terrible breath and a pounding heart, something else started to unfold in the following weeks.

  And this is what I wish someone would have prepared me for.

  Namely: Who am I???

  Who am I, and what is ADHD?
  What is ADHD and what are bad habits?

  What is my potential?
  What can I do? What can’t I do?

  And… what is my WORTH?
  And what do I deserve and not deserve from others?

  I’ve always failed at most things.
  I surely was “stupid”.
  I also “didn’t care” about things that were really important.
  So my ex wife told me. So other people have told me.
  “If you forget something that is as important as this, then surely, you don’t care”.
  Or “you don’t respect me” because I have told you over and over – and still no change!
  So, I’m both a stupid person, and seemingly also lack true empathy and caring.
  I must be a bad person!
  I’m not worth having around.
  I’m not worth much at all.
  They know, I know it. Everybody knows it!
  Because, it’s true.
  And, now you’re telling me that maybe I AM worth something?
  That it’s not that I don’t WANT TO. It’s just that I’M NOT EASILY ABLE TO.

  Suddenly, I was questioning EVERYTHING.

  And the only thing my psychiatrist did was talk about medication.
  When I said I was suddenly in sort of an existential crisis, he looked at me…. like I had just been diagnosed with ADHD or something.
  All he had to say was: “Dude… I’m doing medication. I can give you more. Or less. I suggest you find someone to talk to”.

  And this was my FIRST encounter with a medical professional after getting diagnosed!

  So…

  I was just diagnosed. I had an increasing number of pill boxes in my cupboard.
  And no clue how to handle living with ADHD.

  And so I have been Googling around.
  Speaking to other people with ADHD.
  And made an account here.
  Because, I guess I’m not the only one who had to redefine just about everything after getting diagnosed.

  Today, I’m slowly moving… somewhere.
  I’m not really sure that I do have ADHD sometimes.
  I still had to go back home 4 times in a row one day, because I forgot stuff.
  But my wife tells me I’m calmer. And I don’t get as nervous as I used to.
  I live with several challenging relations… seem to be an ADHD thing.
  And they used to make me shake sometimes.
  But, I don’t anymore.
  Rather, I have been able to stand up for myself.
  And still be calm.
  And, so what has been the biggest change is, even though I still focus a lot on the wrong things and find it very hard to do stuff I don’t really wanna do, I’m standing up for myself. I’m drawing the line. I’m setting myself up for success. I’ve come clean at work about what I need to do my job. I’ve become a more outspoken parent and husband. Maybe it’s because of the medication. Maybe it’s because I’m evolving.
  So, good things are happening, but with ADHD there are no two lines under any answer.

  And THAT’S where I am at.

  So, how about you?

  What’s your story? And how are you doing now?

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