Congratulations, Boris! : Punching Up 2020 - Chortle

Warning: some of the tweets of the week may be sarcastic

Tweets of the week

Congratulations to Boris Johnson on the birth of his 7th or 19th baby

— Joe Heenan (@joeheenan) April 29, 2020

I’d like to be the first to congratulate Boris Johnson’s son for being accepted into Eton, his internship at Goldman Sachs, getting into Oxford and a nice entry level job at Deutsche Bank before accepting a safe seat. Well done lad!

— Josh Jackson (@JoshuaYJackson) April 29, 2020

Look at his rictus grin, like a curséd waxwork from a condemned seaside attraction. He ‘loves’ the NHS in the same way that Fred West loved patios pic.twitter.com/LJBNzFI24A

— Mic Wright (@brokenbottleboy) May 1, 2020

I don’t think I’ve ever cleaned my bathroom mirror, which is something that reflects very badly on me.

— Gary Delaney (@GaryDelaney) April 26, 2020

If we can get R into the minus figures then we can get infected people effectively sucking the virus out of others, yes? Let's make it happen! Clap for this to happen, at 8am every ... I don't know, Wednesday? Please RT.

— John-Luke Roberts (@jlukeroberts) May 1, 2020

RIP my protractor. You are with the angles now.

— Summer Ray (@SummerRay) April 25, 2020

Having my duelling skills questioned was a real slap in the face

— Steven W Skinner (@SkinnerSteven) April 29, 2020

Tried to impress our dinner guests with a sauce created from vodka, gravy & nitrous oxide but all I've done is make myself an absolut laughing stock.

— Perfectly Healthy Clandango (@Cain_Unable) April 27, 2020

Published: 1 May 2020

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Congratulations, Boris! : Punching Up 2020 - Chortle
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